Midnight Special

Jonathan Hawley quietly exhales Marlboro Menthol smoke below the smooth and rich belly of the advancing marine layer. Although separate each breath seeks to join the other in coastal coolness. Dissipate to nothing in seconds. Particles in the puffs leave the tingling inside. In deployment, anticipating joining the joint task force like warships overseas into the Tokyo Bay.

A high-voltage power pole like a hand rolled cigar mimics the cruel King of the Jews crucifixion. Dark power lines hang in the background like a closed circus act. They resurrect the possibility of free utility in the kingdom. Brightly shining in the middle of the night the bond, in sight, behold your likeness with satisfaction. Non-fiction.

A single Pabst Blue Ribbon 24-ounce can is prized next to his leather cowboy boots. Jonathan explained, “Back home we call these tall boys.” Fort Smith, Arkansas was home until he went to the farthest point west in Del Rey where he’s enjoyed the comforts of the Japanese garden surrounding a gray slate courtyard. Mesmerized, he sits there as if plated upon the shadowy mosaic. A yellow handled ax was set against the boulder boundary wrapped around the bonsai tree. Even now the ax is at the root of the trees. Enough wood split and stacked lasted for the midnight special. Shine your light on me. He decorated his room with a gigantic North American flag and watched it as if the game of thrones was playing on a flatscreen television. The blue canton packed with stars sown together with the red and white stripes match the tall boy’s courage in becoming a God-fearing man.

Jonathan will be exporting a bigger and taller version of rugged individualism into the dragon-shaped country. It’s as if he jumped out of the Marvel Comic’s Wolverine poster he bought from the Central Mall before he left for Los Angeles two years ago. A blue-haired character with sharp blades will blend well into the culture of Anime and Cosplay even if he starts with a single black ops folding knife from Smith and Wesson.

In Fort Smith, the second most populated city in Arkansas behind Little Rock, Jonathan was known as a shooter. As a result to the destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina, a young basketball player moved up from New Orleans to live with his uncle. During a sixth grade basketball game, Jonathan had a really good shooting night. Amidst the cheering crowd, the uncle jumped up in the stands and yelled from the top of his lungs, “Bird-Man!” He was named after the great National Basketball Association player Larry Bird.

After the game, his parents asked Jonathan, “Did you hear the man in the stands call out, ‘Bird-Man?”  Jonathan didn’t hear him.

“I was in the game. So I didn’t listen to that. I’m in the game, I’m in the game so I don’t listen to the crowd.” During the next practice his coach said to Jonathan, “Hey Bird-Man.” Jonathan smirked, “What, what do you mean?” Overhearing the brief encounter, Jonathan’s teammates started calling him ‘Bird-man’ too. Before he knew it he had a nickname because everyone surrounding him called him ‘Bird-Man.” The first tattoo inked across his shoulder blades was Bird-Man with no relation to the big time American rapper.

The quick baptism of basketball sweat presents the correlation between hearing from heaven and knowing your identity throughout the game of quarters. Do not try to stop him. Dr. James Naismith’s invention has accomplished the goal of developing faith to fight life’s battles with muscular strength like a wet jump shot outside the three point zone. Throwing down scripture like basketball handles lights up a packed stadium like lighting one candle to another. Tattooed on his left forearm is a large Lord of the Ring’s bowie knife with Hebrews 4:12 written above the green edge, “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Jonathan had “Servant” blasted in mural script on his left for arm because he believes it’s his identity in Christ.

Exchanging candid enthusiasms on the court side during basketball practices fostered the ability for Jonathan at the drop of a hat to sound like a four hundred pound black man. Most of the time being the only white player with sufficient hoop skills Jonathan had a great audience to practice his impressions. Jonathan developed a friendship with Biton Triplett. They both loved Jordan basketball shoes. Biton always wore Jordans because he had an extensive Jordan collection. Jonathan had one pair. One day at Biton’s home, Jonathan spotted a pair of black and white Jordans. Biton said, “Oh, you like the Oreo 6s? You want them? How much would you buy them for?” Jonathan said, “Jordans are expensive.” The Oreo 6s had been worn a few times. Biton sold his Oreo 6s to Jonathan for fifty bucks. Along the stitching, Black exposes white. White exposes black. Life together.

On a red motorcycle, Jonathan cruised up Twenty-Sixth street in Brentwood before his 10 a.m. start time at Farmshop Market. Josiah Hawley, called Jonathan and left a voicemail. “Hey man, I got a podcast a buddy sent me. Hanna is going to cook dinner and we’ll listen to it. I’d like to know your opinion.” Jonathan is the fourth youngest out of five brothers. Growing up in a big family partially prepared him for community living in Los Angeles. Prior to the legal drinking age, he would be allowed into downtown Fort Smith bars to watch his father play the Jazz piano in a quartet. Jonathan misses the homemade biscuits while listening to the soundtracks of his father’s tricky and emotionally colored, black-and-white techniques.

Josiah, Hanna and Jonathan listened to Jamie Winship tell amazing stories from the Middle East. The main premise was how to hear from God. The way he told the stories in context of listening to God had unreal results from simple obedience by what he heard. The genuineness of each story were shored up by God’s capabilities in showing up to do it. Shortly thereafter, Jonathan was invited to a retreat hosted at Forest Home in Forest Falls, California. Josiah and Jonathan showed up black motorcycle jackets with their backpacks, blankets and pillows. Jonathan didn’t know the guy speaking was going to be the same guy on the podcast. Then Josiah pointed Jamie out to his brother. Jonathan leaned forward with a hungry eagerness. Jonathan met Jamie face to face and he said, “I just wanted to let you know you’re a badass for living in the war zone and watching God move.” Winship spoke in front of the medium size platoon of men gathered together inside the half circle auditorium.

The journey began for Jonathan by the end of the retreat because he knew he heard from God, one hundred percent. That’s definitely where it started from hearing and inquiring of the Lord. Day Two of the retreat during intermission a group photo was taken of all the men.

Josiah checked in with his brother to find out if what he’s been saying is good. Jonathan agreed because he saw the correlation between hearing and obeying the Lord. Josiah said, “I want this stuff.” Jonathan said, “Me too.” Josiah said, “Want to go pray with him?” Jonathan replied, “Why are we still talking about it. Let’s go meet him and talk.” They found Jamie and told him they’d like to pray with him. Jamie said, “Absolutely, let’s go.” Jonathan and his brother followed Jamie. The three turned into seven or eight guys going to pray inside the vacated sanctuary.

Jamie started off as the moderator in the small circle of men. He said, “There’s absolutely zero formula from hearing from God. All I do is tell the enemy, Satan be silent in Jesus’ name and God silence my own thoughts. That’s it. I ask a question. Then I wait and listen.” Jonathan sat immediately to Jamie’s left. He started with the men to his right. Everyone in the circle heard or saw something significant. Then Jamie turned to his left. Jonathan said, “Nothing. Completely blank. I don’t hear anything. I don’t hear a word.” Jamie pressed further into the impromptu session. “One of the number one things I run into if someone is not hearing from God is there’s something blocking. So if it’s alright with you, why don’t we ask God what’s blocking.” Jonathan said, “Okay, yeah, what do I have to lose?”

Sincerely Jonathan asked, “Okay God, why am I not hearing from you? What is blocking?” A few moments later, for the first time in Jonathan’s life he sees a picture of himself while his eyes were closed. He’s in a 1700s style brick dungeon. His arms are held up by slave shackles. While looking down at the scene he sees a figure. Jonathan had no idea what any of this meant. Jamie said, “So let’s ask God. Why are you in chains? Who is the figure in the room?” Chain one and chain two were the first two girls Jonathan had ever slept with. Number one was an ex-girlfriend back in high school. At the time they both were saving each other for marriage. They broke up. While going to the same college, Jonathan found out she gave herself to another guy. It broke his heart. For revenge Jonathan slept with a different girl. The breaking up and getting back together with his first love interest sent him on a downward spiral by seeking sex with more women. The chains signified the first two pretty primers. Jonathan said, “It was gross and disturbing.” Jamie persisted in the prayer time, “So soul-ties. Sex with anyone creates a strong spiritual soul-tie. It’s a super strength chemical bond released between both participants. Let’s ask the Lord to break it.” Jonathan was overwhelmed with his head down. Tears made rivers on his reddened skin.

Jonathan called out, “Okay Father, I ask you to break the soul-tie in the name of Jesus.” The picture Jonathan was seeing turned into a motion picture. The dark figure in the room walked up to Jonathan and reached inside of his chest. He yanked something out. It looked like it was corrosive and dripping like an oil change. It was all black. It was Jonathan’s heart. Jamie said, “What would it look like for Jesus to replace it?” So Jonathan said, “Okay Father, what would I look like if you replaced my heart because I’m imagining that’s what my heart looks like now.” Jonathan felt ashamed for what he had been doing. Distant. As soon as Jonathan asked God to change his heart, the dark figure dropped the black heart and put in a new heart. The figure changed to white. Jesus was the figure. So Jesus took the corroded heart and put a new heart inside of Jonathan. As soon as Jonathan saw all of this he knew the Spirit was upon him like never before. It was twice as strong as the day he became born again when he first accepted Jesus. Joyful tears rinsed his face. Sensing forward progress Jamie said, “Now let’s ask the Lord to speak.” Jonathan said, “Okay, Father what do you have to say to me?” Jonathan saw another picture even though he had never seen a picture until then. It was blowing his mind. There was a movie screen. All white letters flashed twice: Tel-Aviv, Tel-Aviv.” Jonathan asked the group, “Does anyone know what Tel-Aviv is?” The group bursted out in laughter. Jonathan said, “What the hell is so funny?” They said, “It’s a city in the Middle East. It’s like a Miami or LA of the Middle East. It’s in Israel.” Jonathan said, “Oh, oh, well I saw that.” Literally, it was life changing.

Celebrating a Farmshop co-worker’s birthday was a good time. Midnight thereafter. He asked Jonathan if he was okay to ride home. Jonathan felt 100%. He was good to go. Jonathan plotted his next hang time with Jarod. While on the phone, Jarod asked, “Hey man are you alright? Are you good? You sound like you’ve been drinking.” Jonathan replied, “Since you’re going to bed I’m going to head home.” Two people spoke to Jonathan about his sobriety. Warning sign number one. Warning sign number two. Jonathan made the decision to ride home anyway.

He ended up totally wreckin’ his Ninja motorcycle. Miraculously, by the grace of God Jonathan survived. Immediately out of anger he stood up after the wreck because it was his only form of transportation. As he strolled toward his Ninja motorcycle Jonathan saw a homeless man. The homeless man walked up toward Jonathan, “Hey, how the hell are you alive?” Jonathan replied, “What are you talking about?” He said, “Maaan, I saw the whole wreck. I saw it happen. You hit this curb and you flipped three times. I saw all of it unfold.”

Jonathan pulled out his phone. He called Jarod again. He picked up the phone first ring, “Hey, what’s up dude?” Jonathan brokenly said, “Hey man I just got into a wreck.” Jarod said, “I’ll be right there.” He hung up. Jarod showed up with one other friend within ten minutes. They picked up the bike and brought it to the side of the road so it would be out of the way. The street was almost empty at two in the morning in Santa Monica parallel to an expressway ramp. It was about six or seven blocks from the 3rd Street Promenade. They took Jonathan back home. When Jonathan woke up in the late morning he could move, but not a whole lot. There was pain in his back. A photograph shows a huge scar from the middle of his back to the right side. A scar from his shoulder to his right bicep. The pavement had slid on through his motorcycle jacket.

It was one of the most unwise decisions he’s ever made. It’s only by the grace of God he survived. He should not have lived. He should have died. He walked away, literally. Friends picked him up faster than a red truck ambulance. The crotch rocket was completely trashed. It should have been a fatal motorcycle accident. It could have been avoided, but the drinking made the his thoughts flawed. If you have more than one person asking you if you’re alright then it’s a good indicator you should surrender your keys. A couple of days after the wreck a Santa Monica police officer called Jonathan. He didn’t ask all about what went on. Jonathan said he was going 40 mph when he rapidly approached the curb. He took back roads he wasn’t familiar with to reach the main road. When he turned he shifted up to the next gear. Upon impact he flipped. Jonathan said his friends came to pick him up and they moved the bike to the side of the road. They drove him home and the next day when they went to pick up the damaged motorcycle it was missing. The police officer said, “We arrived shortly after you left with your friends. You left the scene of an accident.” Jonathan said, “Sir, there was nobody involved except me. So it’s not a hit and run.” The police officer replied, “Well technically it is because you hit a curb and left.” Jonathan thought, “It’s a crock of shit, but it’s California and they make the laws.” He wasn’t going to argue. Number one, he could have died. Number two, he could have been charged with a DUI. Jonathan said, “Sir, what am I looking at here?” Jonathan had to pay the hit and run fine and that was it. He was free to go.

A week and a half later, Jonathan asked God about the wreck, “Father, I made a really stupid decision. You know this. God, I believe you’re the only reason I survived. What do you have to say about this wreck?” At the time Jonathan was at Josiah and Hanna’s place on the couch overnight. Jonathan remembers the Lord saying he surrounded his bike with angels to cushion his fall. Since then he’s rode motorcycles, but not after drinking. He’ll never do it again. If he does drink he will have someone else ride or wait until it’s completely safe. M83 Outro.